Grownupedness - by Clarissa P Green (Paperback)
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<p/><br></br><p><b> About the Book </b></p></br></br>Pivotal events in Clarissa P. Green's childhood altered her family dynamics, personal life and career. As a therapist, Green helped aging parents and their mid-life children cope with loss. Sharing her personal experiences alongside her those of her clients, she makes her deep understanding of family and aging available to all.<p/><br></br><p><b> Book Synopsis </b></p></br></br><p>Pivotal events in Clarissa P. Green's childhood altered the trajectory of her family relationships, personal life and career. Within the course of one year, her youngest sister passed away within seven months of her birth, and both her father and grandmother suffered near-fatal heart-attacks. In the 1950s, silence was considered an appropriate response to tragedy. Green writes, "my parents believed the right way to handle misfortune was to 'turn the page.' This meant they didn't talk with their children about our sister's death or any of the other awful events around that time. It's taken me most of my life to understand how this crisis changed my family so profoundly, how it shaped my future." It took a move from New York to Florida to bring the family back together.</p><p>In her twenties, Green was drawn to study the ins and outs of family crisis. In graduate school, and then as a professor in Vancouver, British Columbia, Green began to help grieving families regain balance -- comforting the parents of premature newborns and helping families whose wives or mothers were diagnosed with life-threatening illness. Her support of these families led to a decades-long career in clinical therapy, working with aging parents and their mid-life children.</p><p>Green writes, "The lengthy journey through aging involves numerous reasons to stumble -- burdensome caregiving, coping with illness, sibling strife, money dynamics, unfinished business... No matter what they were particularly upset about, mid-life children and old parents alike wanted to be seen as adult, to act grown-up in front of one another. Parents' aging, especially illness, called for responsible approaches to tough situations, respect for differences in perspective, authentic and open conversation, boundaries."</p><p>An award-winning teacher and advocate for the power of a learner's personal connections in making theory and research meaningful, Green listened to her clients stories. As the storyteller of her own family, in <em>Grownupedness</em> Green weaves together her personal experiences alongside those of her clients -- in humorous and touching detail -- to make her deep understandings of family and aging available to all.</p><p>In Part I, Green explores what it means to be an "elderly young girl," breaks down the anatomy of a crisis, and shows how the influence of past trauma stays with us as we age. Part II dives deeply into Green's own personal experiences as she shares with the reader the challenges of supporting loved ones as they and their partners face growing old, illness and end of life. In Part III, Green delves into what she has learned as a daughter, a sibling, a wife, a mother, a teacher and a therapist. </p><p>Coupled with stories and lessons learned from her clients and family, she brings together stories and advice on difficult conversations -- finance, dementia, touch, independence -- and shares with vulnerability how she herself navigated the changing relationships with her own adult sons. Finding humor in difficult situations, Green manages to find humanity in experiences that are simultaneously personal and yet universal.</p><p> </p><p/><br></br><p><b> Review Quotes </b></p></br></br><br><p>Green left childhood behind at age ten, a year of "pandemonium" a reminder that "terrible things do happen to good people." She shares, with honesty and humour, a chronicle of crisis and change, a brilliant legacy of wisdom to anyone who has been bewildered by their family. <br /> -- Alex Fancy, professor emeritus, Mount Allison University, 3M National Teaching Fellow </p><p>In Grownupedness, Clarissa P. Green blends her professional and personal experience to help the reader navigate painful choices with loving clarity. <br /> -- Leslie Hill, author of <em>Dressed for Dancing: My Sojourn in the Findhorn Foundation </em></p><p>These probing and reflective essays show us that there's no free pass -- aging is rarely easy, and renegotiating the terms of our relationships with loved ones as we all grow older requires us to reckon with old demons, to examine outgrown assumptions, to acknowledge and respect our losses. Honest, moving, yet hopeful. <br /> -- Susan Olding, Aathor of <em>Pathologies: A Life in Essays </em></p><p>Part memoir, part analysis of the human condition, Green's brilliant book holds you in its warm embrace and says, "It takes courage to grow up." From the first chapter when you begin to understand the author's lifelong commitment to understanding how crisis restructures families and personalities, until you arrive at the final chapter, you'll laugh, weep unexpectedly and be caught off guard by moments of insight. <br /> -- Ethel Whitty, author of <em>The Light a Body Radiates </em></p><p>With unflinching curiosity for the complexities of the human journey, she shares naked emotions and truths she discovers along the way. Poignant, visceral, humorous, insightful and inspiring -- a must read for anyone living a life.<br /> -- Jane Mortifee, singer and author of <em>Out of the Fire </em></p><p>Her personal stories will move you. Her professional wisdom will give you hope that the inevitable tensions brought about by aging can also provide rich experiences worth the effort. <br /> -- Sally Halliday, MA, RCC, CCC, registered clinical counsellor specializing in mid-life changes and former CBC journalist </p><p>In her astounding Grownupedness, Green banishes clichés and psychobabble. She tells disquieting life stories. Green's book confronts us with lurid details about getting old and about living with people getting old. We are all headed that way. Green dares us to pay attention. <br /> -- Guy Allen, professor, director of the Professional Writing and Communication Program, University of Toronto </p><br>
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